Of course he would officially exit my life on Valentine’s Day. It was his beloved mother’s birthday for goodness sakes!
It made sense. For years I could not understand why my marriage to Dolus seemed something akin to a terrifying episode of the Twilight Zone. One in which bloody lips and swollen faces maniacally pounded by psychotic fists were never brought to the attention of law enforcement due to paralyzing fear. One in which words and actions were directed with such venom and absorbed with such agony that passive suicidal thoughts became active ideation.
Yes. It all made sense. Dolus never acted alone, religiously seeking the approval and guidance of his handlers for every aspect of his life. His exaggerated departure was most certainly planned. Decades of experience assured me that his plan was designed, as always, with his parental co-conspirators, Milly and Filly.
His parents’ peculiar emotions and extreme ideology had always been mirrored in their son – their thoughts fiercely intertwined. Regardless of the logic supporting my protests and subsequent resistance, my desperation consistently fell on deaf ears. In the end, with military precision, Dolus dutifully ensured that his parents’ doctrines became the blueprint for our lives.
I had often sensed what might be described as an enmeshed relationship between Dolus and Milly. She was his goddess, and he treated her accordingly. After the birth of my children, who Milly bizarrely attempted to make her own, my services to the family were no longer required. As a result, I was slowly discarded over the years.
They both hated me at the atomic level. But if Milly could have figured out how to hate me beyond science, she would have.
Filly, the family patriarch, husband of Milly and father of Dolus, was not very fond of me either. He was, however, far more powerful than Milly. Not only did Filly hate my soul, but he also hated my future reincarnations.
Among the many reasons Filly looked upon me with such tremendous disdain included my audacity to fall out of compliance with the family code of conduct, exercise free will and think independently. These actions branded me as one who disrespected her elders and could not be controlled. In Filly’s view, my increasingly “smart mouth” (i.e. I stood up to him) had become intolerable and Dolus needed to get rid of me.
Additionally, Dolus, Milly and Filly found it rather difficult to embrace and support my audaciously unauthorized reconnection with my family after ten years of estrangement. Their anger was quite understandable, actually. The trio had maintained control over me by praising and encouraging my self-inflicted isolation. Most importantly, however, I saw them. With renewed and brilliant clarity, I saw exactly who they were because the veil had been lifted. My unwavering confidence and impenetrable discernment had become a problem.
Why not leave on Thursday, the 11th of February? According to his lease, Dolus was welcome to kickstart his new life in his one-bedroom apartment on that date. Perhaps the intended goals were that I would forever mourn the starting point our separation while collapsing at the thought of Milly happily celebrating her birthday during the annual celebration of love and romance. Maybe my transgressions had been judged and the act of Dolus leaving on his mother’s birthday was the spiteful and vindictive verdict tailor-made just for me. Of these things I cannot be certain. I am confident, however, that their combined hatred manifested in the form of a thoroughly rehearsed and vengefully petty theatrical production crafted to maximize not only my emotional distress, but that of my children, on Valentine’s Day.
For all intents and purposes, Dolus’ departure was the beginning of the manipulative, intimidating and often frightening end of two mentally, physically, spiritually and financially debilitating decades of matrimony.
SPOILER ALERT: I am living happily ever after abuse!
The story continues with The Petty Beginning of the Fairytale End(ing) – Part II
