It Isn’t You But It Might Be a Narcissist

Approximately 7 years ago, before I began working with a therapist, the speed at which I was loosing myself to absurdity increased exponentially.

It seemed that I was being told I was crazy in a rather orchestrated manner. I began to think I was crazy. Was I crazy? I couldn’t be. I just couldn’t be. Although I felt fatigued and hopeless on a daily basis, I had no choice but to seek guidance from the one who knows all things about all things. The one who never judges my questions but apparently keeps meticulous records of them. The one whose knowledge seems to have no upper bound – my dear friend, Google.

“Google”, I cried from the unexplored depths of my soul, “Why did my in-laws sell their beautiful coastal home and move 900 miles to live directly next door to me and bring their daughter, who is 5 whole years older than me, with them? Why does my husband seem to love his mother more than he loves me? Why do I feel as though my mother-in-law is the wife, while I’m some mistress?”

With an increasingly heightened sense of urgency I continued, “Why does it seem as though my in-laws believe they are my children’s actual parents? Why does it seem that when I question any aspect of the “family narrative”, I am immediately met with malevolent vitriol? Why does my father in-law have to know every detail of all our financial matters? Why does it seem that all of my personal business is “need-to-know” information for my in-laws? 

Before they moved, why didn’t my in-laws want me to leave their house on my own when we visited them? Why does it feel as though my husband will not protect or shield me from his parents or from the world for that matter? Why does it feel as though I’m the only one in my marriage? Am I imagining this? Is something wrong with me?”

Google paused for a moment and studied the steam escaping from his hot mug of Earl Grey. After a while, Google looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Lady, you need to breathe.”

Google’s Wisdom

After taking a few moments to refill my lungs and regain my composure, I listened as Google began to impart the wisdom of the World Wide Web. “At first, I wasn’t going to say anything because I get the feeling you aren’t supposed to talk to strangers. But since you’re asking so many curiously related questions…you might want to read these articles on this thing called narcissism. Read these, and these, and these, too. 

Now you agree that by sharing this information, I am not saying that you are dealing with narcissism nor am I labeling anyone in your life as a narcissist. But you might want to thoroughly read about that topic in these articles just in case.” Right after that, Google hit me with a “hard-wink” and a mischievous smile. Hmmm…I wonder what that meant. Oh, well. Moving right along!

From that moment on, Google and I embarked upon a years long snitch-fest where my dear, know-it-all friend spilled gallons upon gallons of tea pertaining to all things “this stuff ain’t no joke”. Now that I’m on the other side of my “situation”, I am sharing with you a fraction of the most flavorful and aromatic tea cultivated by experts and laymen from around the web who entrusted Google with their sacred knowledge. Use it wisely, my friends, and know that you ain’t crazy.

Google Literature Pertaining to Narcissism

This article was updated on 2/21/2025 to reflect an expanded Literature section.